"...be swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath..."

The Cooper Family Christmas Eve 2014

My wife and children will sometimes ask me to read from one of the journals I kept
when our children were young. This became somewhat of a tradition as we welcomed a new son or daughter in law to the family because it provided our family with some good laughs while giving the new spouse a glimpse into the childhood of the woman or man they'd just married.

I want to share one journal entry that we often enjoy about our twin boys, Matt and Jason, and some curiosities they developed when they were six years old. The lesson I learned from those experiences taught me to be a better parent and to continue to trust is God's words as they are preserved and shared through sacred scriptures. I'll share a powerful Biblical teaching after the story.

"Matthew and Jason have given Christen and me a lot of interesting experiences over the past couple of weeks. They have developed a curiosity for matches and 'moving'. About two Sundays ago they packed two overnight bags and took sleeping bags to the east side of the house to live. It was a cold morning and frost was on the ground. They had packed a number of things along with matches in their bags...By the time I found the boys they had burned what looked like a pile of leaves that was about two feet in diameter. I told them to get in the house and they knew they were in trouble. Rather than (jump to conclusions and) get mad at them I asked them to explain what they were doing. I've learned that adults rarely perceive things as children do. They were very thoughtful in how they packed the bags. The fire was intended for warmth--not to burn down the house. The boys had packed their journals, money, socks, shoes, and many other things which they felt necessary to sustain them. They were careful to not let their sleeping bags touch the wet grass. The only correction I had to offer after listening to their explanations was to never make or use fire without an adult helping them. This approach turned out much better than yelling, spanking, and sending them to their room."

I can't say that was the end of fires and "moving" for our boys. They "moved" a few more times in subsequent weeks and I discovered two pillow cases and one pillow with burn spots in their bedroom. We took back their allowances to help them understand accountability and responsibility for their actions and to pay for our losses. More than twenty years later Matt and Jason enjoy winter camping and building fires together. Their spouses have been good sports in camping with them, even during sub-freezing temperatures.

Here is the scripture that influenced my parenting at that time. Following the counsel of the scripture will bless our relationships if we truly understand and apply it when we find ourselves facing a problem or misunderstanding.

"Wherefore, my beloved brethren, let every man (and woman) be swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath; For the wrath of man worketh not the righteousness of God." (James 1:19-20, italics added)

We shouldn't let our position of authority or our desire to quickly shut down a problem get in the way of turning a problem into an opportunity to be a blessing to those who may be frustrating us. Living by true principles blesses all involved.  By restraining my natural inclination and taking time to listen to my sons I was able to acknowledge their creativity, their ability to plan and carry out a plan, and their genuine desire to do good and take care of each other. Their spirit of adventure was manifesting itself. I felt a greater appreciation for their budding personalities and talents. I felt a deeper love for them rather than anger and frustration. By understanding the circumstances and their true motivation I became aware of more good than bad in that situation and I was able to encourage them in developing their goodness rather than choke it with anger and punishment that comes no naturally and swiftly for parents who want quick resolutions. Gentle influence is much more productive and long-lasting with important relationships than the use of position authority.

Understanding and heeding the words of one of Christ's servants blessed my life and the lives of my innocent little boys. We nurtured sacred relationships in the spirit of Christ. I hope every individual and family feels that kind of love because it is life-changing--it unlocks the divine potential that is within each of God's children.

"By this shall all men know ye are my disciples, if ye have love one to another."  (John 13:35)

Teach Me to Walk in the Light of His Love

Our family has come to know and feel the love of God as we've chosen to have faith and trust in the teachings of Jesus Christ. We treasure His words and teachings and dedicate our time, talents, and resources to sharing that love with one another and the people we meet. We want to be a blessing in the lives of those we meet.  We see the hand of God in the world in which we live and declare that "...the earth, and all things that are upon the face of it, yea, and its motion, yea and also all the planets which move in their regular form do witness that there is a Supreme Creator." (From the Book of Mormon, Alma 30:44)

We see and feel God's love in the goodness of people around us. We are in awe of His power and gentle love. We believe in a great plan of happiness that was designed by our Heavenly Father and invite you to learn more about that plan by clicking on this link. God the Father is the Father of the spirit which dwells in and gives life to each of our bodies. We are literally His spirit children--all part of an eternal family.

We recognize that there is an adversary to the great plan of happiness designed by our Heavenly Father.  That adversary seeks to obscure, hide, and even take away a knowledge of and hope in God's plan for our happiness through disobedience to God's commandments and through misguided traditions and instant but short-lived pleasures. That adversary seeks to rule over our spirit and to keep us blind to our divine potential so he entices us to turn our attention to selfish pleasures and rewards.

We believe that a family unit is central to God's plan for our happiness so we believe in and hold sacred the institution of marriage between a man and a woman. We believe that when such a marriage is founded on the teachings of Christ the likelihood for each member of the family to know true joy and happiness is greatly increased. We recognize that many of us live in circumstances that are not ideal, but adherence to the teachings of Christ will remedy the loneliness, heartbreak, and challenges that surround us in our less-than-ideal circumstances. Those teachings will also magnify the joy and influence of sacred relationships in our lives. Caring for one another in the spirit of "the good Samaritan" (Luke 10:30-37) as a human family strengthens and lifts both those who serve and those who are served because service is the work of God. Jesus Christ is the perfect example of service.

We invite you to come unto Christ, study His teachings, and walk in the light of His love!

The Cooper Family

Our Family
(Before welcoming our two newest grandchildren, Oliver and Liam)